Spanish Carnation
by Sam King
Summary: Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a gay teenger with a homophobic father is even harder. But Lovino couldn't be gay could he? Feliciano deffinently was. The Prequel to Russian Sunflower. Spamano, GerIta, PruCan, Frananne, AustHung,
1. The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Ballad of Mona Lisa

**Disclaimer I don't own Hetalia.**

Lovino Vargas stared out the bus window trying to ignore two things, the clenching in his stomach from starting a new school year and the noisy conversation going on beside him between his younger brother Feliciano Vargas and their next door neighbor Antonio Carriedo. He especially wanted to ignore Antonio, last night he had, had a funny dream about the older boy and now every time he looked at the chocolate haired boy with dazzling green eyes he saw him lying naked on the bed, panting, and- Lovino quickly shook the memory of the dream from his head. What had gotten into him, thinking of Antonio like that? If this was how it was always going to be from now on, Lovino knew he'd have to suck it up seeing the memory of the dream or start avoiding the boy.

"Are you okay, _fratello_?" Feliciano asked poking Lovino's shoulder irritatingly. Lovino growled at him, but the younger boy didn't seem to take the hint.

"Lovi, you okay, you're all red like a tomato." Antonio said leaning over the seat in front of him so that his face was right beside Lovino's ear. Lovino flushed even darker red and attempted to punch the Spaniard, but Antonio was too fast and leaned back into his seat, plopping his butt onto the brown seat beside one of his best friend Francis Bonnefoy, a blond haired Frenchman who had moved to the small town they all lived in when Lovino was in second grade, making Antonio and Francis both third graders. The two were part of an infamous trio known as the Bad Touch Trio. Last year Francis' younger sister Monique had gone missing on her way home from school. Since then Francis' family had been falling apart so the blond often stayed over at Antonio's house to avoid the unpleasentry that came with going home.

Lovino turned himself in his seat and leaned over the seat still trying to hit the Spanish boy. All three of his neighbors were laughing at him, as Antonio dodged another punch and winked at Lovino, making him blush even more, enticing Lovino to try to hit him.

"Lovino Vargas, sit your ass down in the seat the proper way!" the bus driver, Mrs. Taylor, shouted taking notice of what the boys in the back of her bus were doing.

"Yes mam," Lovino said huffing but doing as the black woman ordered.

"Ooo, looks like someone got in trouble." Alfred Jones teased from the seat diagonal from Lovino and Feliciano to the front. The honey blonde spectacled boy grinned at the four of them before going back to the comic book he was reading. Alfred almost always read comic books during the bus ride, only few who knew him very well knew that the most of the time clueless American was actually an avid reader who played dumb to keep appearances up.

"Fuck off, Alfred." Lovino said annoyed with the world. His day just seemed to be getting worse and worse.

"Now, now, Lovi, don't dirty your mouth with such langue." Antonio chided, Lovino rolled his eyes. Who was the Spaniard to chastise him on his langue when Gilbert cursed like a sailor as well?

"Or the air, we have to breathe you know." Alfred commented,

"Jones," Antonio warned seeing that Lovino was about to blow a fuse and it would most likely be directed at the American.

"Seriously Alfred, do you have to antagonize Lovino?" Alfred's stepbrother, Matthew Williams, said. Though Al and Mattie were step brothers the two could not remember a life without the other one. Alfred's father and Matthew's mother had been childhood sweethearts before Mrs. Alice met Matthew's father who had been a real jerk apparently and left before Matthew was born. Alfred's real mother had abandoned his father and him soon after he was born and neither of them had heard from her since, not that Alfred cared much for finding her, he had only ever called Alice Mom and the two looked close enough a like that nobody who didn't know wouldn't know they weren't related.

"He's always swearing." Alfred complained turning to look at his violet eyed brother.

"And you're always declaring you're the hero despite how annoying that is." Matthew pointed out. The bus stopped for a final time and on walked two brothers, both of German decent. Their family had moved to Canada after their home was destroyed during World War Two, their grandparents had the house they lived in specifically designed to look like the house that was lost in the air raid. The two pretty much lived their alone as their father never was around always off doing something for work and never taking care of the boys, they never spoke of their mother.

Gilbert Beilschmidt, the oldest was an albino with red eyes and white hair and very, very pale. He was loud and obnoxious though and made up the third member of the Bad Touch Trio. Gilbert was famous for bringing his pet bird to school, a little yellow canary named Gilbird, named after the awesome Gilbert of course, Lovino rolled his eyes at the older brother. He rarely got along with him finding the self-proclaimed Prussian to be rude, a jerk and egostical.

The younger brother, Ludwig, was the exact opposite of Gilbert. He was quiet, often annoyed at his older brother's antics, and yet Lovino hated him more than his older brother. Why? Because Feliciano absolutely adored Ludwig and Lovino secretly feared that Feli would leave him all alone in the world. Ludwig was tall, probably a few inches taller than his brother who was two years older than him, and blond with blue eyes. He would have made Hitler proud, Lovino though darkly to himself glaring at the boy who was starting high school like Feliciano and looked very nervous.

"Hey Gilbert, how was Europe?" Francis asked. Gilbert had toured France and Germany over the summer with his grandfather and Ludwig, leaving Lovino with one very whiny Feliciano who was worried that something might happen to his precious Wiggy. Not that those two had been the only ones who had gone away over the summer, Antonio had gone to Spain and went to a summer camp with matadors. Antonio's second love after tomatoes. He had returned mid-August though, whereas Gilbert and Ludwig hadn't returned until last week.

"Fine," Gilbert said with a shrug sitting in the seat opposite of the one Antonio and Francis was sitting in.

Lovino went back to staring out the window and trying to ignore the conversations around him and the nervous feeling in his stomach. "Hey Lovi," the annoying Spaniard said, Lovnio let out a quiet groan, couldn't his friends give him one minute of peace and quiet. No, obviously they couldn't. "Is it true that you're taking ballroom dance lessons?" Lovino groaned, it was another thing Lovino was forced into doing thanks to his brother. Feliciano loved to try new things but he hated doing them alone so who was forced to do them with him? Yep that's right his older brother. When they were younger it had been gymnastics, and Lovino had to admit he had been very good at gymnastics, but when was he ever going to use such a skill in his life? Like ballroom dancing.

"Yes," Lovino said quietly so that the others couldn't hear him. Antonio let out a chuckle, "Got an issue with it, 'Tonio?" He growled,

"Nope, you know I help teach ballroom dancing."

"So?"

"So, so you and your brother happen to be on my roster, _mi tomate_."

"What?" Lovino asked bugged eyes, ballroom dancing was one thing, but having Antonio has an instructor was another. How would he be able to avoid Antonio if the strange dreams kept occurring?

"Yep, so I'll see you tomorrow at six." Antonio said before sliding back into his seat leaving Lovino to simmer in anger at the world that seemed to hate him for some unknown reason.

Many things had happened to Lovino Vargas in the fifteen years he had been alive. When he was a year old his little brother had been born on the same exact date he was born March 17. Then when he was five years old his mother died in a car accident taking him to school. Since then it had seemed to Lovino that everyone preferred Feliciano over him. Everyone but one person, the boy who had comforted him when no one else had at his mother's funeral, the boy he had grown up next to all his life, Antonio Carriedo. It seemed childish to think that no one else liked him and Lovino knew it wasn't true. Sure he didn't have the best relationship with his father, but neither did Feliciano and Matthew was Lovino's best friend.

The bus stopped finally when they reached the high school and everyone seemed to be in a rush to get out of the hot vehicle. "Hey Lovino, you okay?" Matthew asked catching up to the Italian in front of the school walking with him.

"No," Lovino admitted with a sigh, Matthew was probably one of the few people Lovino trusted; Antonio and Feliciano were the other two. But this wasn't something he could talk to them about. "I- it's nothing. Just me over reacting to something, probably." Matthew didn't look convinced but didn't say anything more, just gave Lovino a look.

"Okay, whatever you say. But if you ever need to talk to someone-" the rest of his sentence was cut off by the arrival of the albino Prussian.

"Hey, Birdie, can I come to your place for pancakes tonight?" Gilbert intrupted,

"Hey, fuck off, can't you tell when two people are talking?" Lovino shouted, man the world was pissing him off today.

"What's got you in such a foul mood today?" Matthew asked as Gilbert stalked off muttering under his breath. Lovino huffed, he knew he should tell Matthew what was up so that at least one person understood his moodiness but he didn't want Matthew to get the wrong idea if this dream was just going to be a onetime event. He wasn't gay, he wasn't gay damn it!

"Nothing," Lovino said walking away from Matthew to go brood somewhere.

_Woah, Mona Lisa,  
>You're guaranteed to run this town.<br>Woah, Mona Lisa,  
>I'd pay to see you frown.<em>

_Say what you mean,  
>Tell me I'm right,<br>And let the sun rain down on me,  
>Give me a sign,<br>I wanna believe_

_There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for_

**Author's Note (The part of the story where the Author comes out and write a silly note): So this is just a what I'd like to call test chapter. I want people's opinion of the first chapter of the prequel, Spanish Carnations yeah I've got this flower theme going on, I think its kinda cheesy but you know it might work. It's not as long as I would like it to be. So yeah that's about it. This is a pretty short author's note for me. For those who have never read any of my other works I tend to ramble.**


	2. Die Kaiser Waltzer

**Kaiserwaltzer**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the waltz Die Kaiserwalzer.**

Antonio was not as oblivious as most people thought, he feigned obliviation so that people would underestimate him, people like Lovino who thought that Antonio was not aware of the fact that he was trying to avoid him. Not that Lovino could do that very well since he was in the dance class that Antonio taught. Dancing, it was the one way Antonio felt he could convey all the emotions that he could not show. His parents owned the dance studio he taught at and Antonio had been dancing for as long as could remember, and often told him he had been dancing before he had begun to walk. As unrealistic as it sounded. They had been professional tango dancers back in Spain, that's how they had met each other. It sounded like something from a cheesy romance film to Antonio, but his parents assured him numerous times that things like that could happen. Growing up he had gained a passion for dancing as well.

"Today we are going to begin with a simple ballroom waltz." Antonio said smiling at his newest class made up of Feliciano, Lovino, an elderly couple –he always had one of those in each of his classes-, and a couple of female high schoolers from his school. "I want everyone to break up into partners and you shall hold them as so." He held onto his mother's back with one hand and clasped her right hand with his other.

When everyone had done so, Lovino had paired up with his brother and was swearing very loudly at Feliciano due to the fact that he was in the role of the female. "Now watch. One two three, one two three, one two three," He and his mother danced gracefully around the front of the room with the technique only someone who had been dancing like this for years would have. There were lots of oos and aws from the girls in the class, all of which the partners ignored.

"Now, you guys will try it." Antonio said breaking away from his mother and turning on some waltzing music. "One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three, and a one two three, one two three," He watched the six dance partners dance around the floor of the dance room with some amusement, but he always offered words of encouragement. Hopefully the only way they could go was up. "One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three. Remember a waltz is a series of three steps." He continued to walk around the room watching all of the different dancers, sometimes he'd stop a group and give them a comment on a way to improve. "Remember to always look your partners in the eyes, it's how they will communicate where to go with you."

"You're not doing it right Feli," Lovino complained rather loudly making Antonio turn his head from where he was talking with one of the other couples. He could tell right off the bat that it was Lovino making the mistakes not Feliciano, but that the younger of the siblings was too nice to tell the other that.

"_Madre, la danza con Feliciano, por favor_." Antonio said, his mother who had been watching the class from the doorway nodded and took the younger Vargas brother to dance with. "Here let me show you, Lovi."

"Don't call me that, Bastard." Lovino muttered as red as a tomato, Antonio only laughed and continued to dance. "What are we listening to?"

"The Kaiserwaltzer by Johann Strauss." Antonio said, "You should ask Rodriech to play a rendition of this on the piano it is how they say it, _es ist wunderbar_."

"You been hanging out with Potato Bastard Number Two too much." Lovino muttered adverting his eyes from Antonio's. Antonio only chuckled as Lovino spoke of Gilbert though he'd actually heard Ludwig talk about Rodriech and not Gilbert. His albino friend would never speak of something so kindly about the musician he had picked on their whole lives.

"Perhaps." Antonio said his lips quirking into a smile. "Do you understand the moves now?" He let Lovino go a small frown forming on his face, he couldn't devote all his time to one student no matter how much he would have liked to continue to dance with the younger boy.

"Yes," Lovino said as Feliciano walked over finishing dancing with Antonio's mother.

"Good, I guess that means you two can dance together some more." Antonio said watching the brothers dance and wishing that it was himself and not Feliciano that Lovino was dancing with.

The next day at school nothing seemed to have changed despite dancing together the night before, Lovino kept his distance and Antonio allowed him. They hardly talked to one another and the separation caused Antonio's heart to ache for some unknown reason. No, he knew the reason, he loved Lovino Vargas and he had always loved him and it was his feelings for the Italian boy that Antonio had even realized he was gay in the first place. "You're extremely quiet today." Jeanne said, Jeanne Dubae was Francis' girlfriend of only about six months and if it wasn't for her Antonio wasn't sure that his blond friend would be doing so well with the disappearance/death of his sister and the suicide of his mother after his sister's funeral last May. "Anything wrong?"

"Lovino," Antonio said letting out a long sigh, the blond girl shook her head and opened her mouth to say something to him when Francis walked up behind them and covered her eyes with his hands.

"Hello Beautiful." He purred in her ears and Antonio thought he might puke rainbows and kittens as the couple radiated love from one another. Now he sounded like Lovino, he mentally noted.

"Hey Handsome," Jeanne replied back leaning upward to kiss her Frenchman. "How has your day gone?"

"No kisses for the awesome me?" Gilbert scoffed feigning hurtness.

"I'll kiss you Gilbie," Antonio offered, anything to distract himself from the mystery Lovino was. Gilbert laughed and shook his head.

"No thanks, I think I've caught myself a Birdie." Gilbert said proudly, "I invited him over to my house this weekend." Birdie was Gilbert's nickname for Lovino's best friend Matthew Williams, most people forgot his name and so Antonio was quiet proud of himself for being able to remember it. It probably didn't help that Lovino had also wacked him in the head every time he forgot it too. But the Canadian had had quite the crush on Antonio's albino friend for some time.

"Ooo, do I detect _amore_, between _Matthieu_ and you?" Francis said chuckling, "You hurt him and I will personally make sure you never hurt anyone ever again." It was eerie how Francis could go from being so light hearted in his first question to deadly serious in his next. That was an aspect of Francis that had only come out in the past year or so.

"I-I won't." Gilbert assured the overprotective cousin.

"Well," Antonio said standing up and grabbing his book bag. "I'm off."

"Lunch only started ten minutest ago." Gilbert protested, "You're going to leave me here with the love birds?" he pointed to Jeanne and Francis who looked as if they were getting ready to make out.

"Sorry, _mi amigo_." Antonio said with a chuckle.

"Bastard," Gilbert muttered as Antonio walked away from the table, choosing to ignore Gilbert's insult against his parentage. His parents had been happily married when he was born thank you very much.

Antonio wandered aimlessly in the hallway of the school grateful that no teachers were out too or he was sure to get ISS for wandering in the hallways without a pass, the school was extremely strict on that. He heard the sound of two voices as he was about to turn on one hallway and he quietly poked his head around the corner to see who was talking in the hall when they should be in class only to see Matthew and Lovino at Lovino's locker, neither of them aware they were being eavesdropped on.

"He invited me to his house this weekend." Matthew said to Lovino, blushing red as he did so.

"And you said yes?" Lovino said sounding almost shocked though Antonio couldn't be sure because Lovino's back was to him. Matthew nodded looking slightly nervous due to his best friend's reaction.

"Yeah, I really like Gilbert, you know that."

"If he hurts you I'll kill him." Lovino threatened, "Make sure you pass that on." The duo were quiet for a moment and Antonio thought that they were done talking and was about to turn away when Lovino spoke again this time sounding quite unsure of himself. "Mattie, I've been having strange dreams lately."

"About?" The blond Canadian pressed confusion in his violet eyes.

"Antonio and I." Lovino whispered so quietly Antonio had to strain to hear it.

"Oh," was Matthew's response and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"We-we were doing things, things that my father would hate me for." Was that the reason for Lovino's distance recently? He was frightened because of wet dreams? Of him and Lovino… _oh Dios_. Antonio turned around not bothering to listen to the rest of Lovino and Matthew's conversations. He checked himself out of school and walked the three blocks to the dance studio.

He turned on some tango music and danced his sorrows away. Lovino wasn't talking to him due to dreams he had no control over and was frightened of. There was no way Antonio could ever tell Lovino that he loved him.

**Author's Note (the part of the chapter where the author comes out and writes a silly note): **

** Okay, so this one took me a while due to band season. But its done now and I have hopefully have more time to write. That's not to say that in the month since I last posted I haven't been writing. I just haven't yet typed it, that's the real time consumer for me. Typing the chapter. Well that and I keep getting bombarded for ideas for one shots. So yeah, the song I chose for this chapter is the waltz that Antonio and Lovino dance to at their dance lessons, its by Johann Strauss. You can look it up on YouTube, it's a beautiful piece. I stumbled on it accidently while looking for another waltz, I like this one better. FYI, haahaaha I don't speak Spanish or really know too much about the language for that matters. I take German so my German is usually accurate (if I spell everything correctly) *Scratches head embarrassingly*. So yeah onto translations and less of my ramblings.**

_Lo amas, no lo hace- _ you love him don't you? (Spanish)

_Es ist wunderbar-_ it is wonderful (German)

_Madre, la danza con Feliciano, por favor- _Mama, can you dance with Feliciano please.


	3. Losing My Religion

Losing My Religion

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or REM's Losing my Religion.**

Why couldn't Antonio take a hint? Why couldn't he figure out that he didn't want to talk to him, Lovino wondered as he kicked a small black pebble down the street. His hands were stuffed into his faded looking jeans, his chest shivered into the brown sweatshirt he wore. October in Canada was cool and it would only get cooler, and snowier. He walked down his street with his head looking down at the cemented sidewalk, his shoulders hunched over, away from his house where his homophobic father was ranting to no one in particular that gays shouldn't be allowed to run for public office. He wasn't sure why this rant in particular had driven him away from his warm house, where he could play X-box or do his reading homework for English, to the cool world outside the walls. Maybe it had to do with the fact that his best friends were gay, not that his father hadn't ranted this way before, rants like this were a daily occurrence sometimes, or maybe it had to do with reoccurring dreams he had begun having about Antonio the night before school started. Whatever the reason, Lovino was cold and miserable.

"Stupid fathers, stupid weather, stupid Canada." He mumbled kicking another pebble into the street. "Being so fucken cold." Another rock kicked into the road.

"You know you cold flatten someone's tire with all those rocks you've been kicking into the street." A familiar, cheerful voice said from behind. Lovino froze and didn't dare turn around to look at him, he felt like a kid who'd just gotten caught sticking his hand in the cookie jar, something that had happened to him quite often when he was a kid thanks to the boy standing behind him.

"Why the fuck do you care all the sudden?" Lovino snapped angrily,

"Cause people drive on the road, silly Lovi." Antonio laughed his voice was still cheerful, not even the cold could make his cheerfulness disperse, Lovino lamented.

"So? Why are you out here anyway?" Lovino finally turning to look at his longtime friend.

"You looked lonely." Antonio said with a shrug, his hands were tucked into the pockets of his red hoodie, a red and yellow knitted hat covered his chocolate brown curls, he looked as if he was in his element dressed like that. But anyone who knew Antonio knew he hated the cold even more then Lovino did, after all it didn't get very cold in Spain.

"So?"

"So, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything." He poked Lovino's side with his elbow in an almost teasing manor.

"Leave me alone." Lovino snapped starting to walk down the street again. Antonio didn't follow him and Lovino started to feel guilty for making him upset, Antonio had always been there for him.

_ The once warm and inviting church with its beautiful stain glass windows depicting different scenes from the New Testament, making green and purple light shine into the room sometimes during mass, no longer felt inviting to Lovino. A congregation of people sang songs of requiem in the ancient langage of Latin. At the front, on a plain brown wooden table sat a casket with a beautiful woman with long brown hair and tan Meddeteranian looking skin lay inside. Romina Vargas, Lovino's mother._

_ Lovino sat in the back row of pews, the farthest away from his mother. No tears were shed from the eight year olds eyes, unlike his younger brother who could have filled a fountain with all the tears that fell from his eyes. No one paid any notice to him. No one, save the boy sitting next to him, Antonio Carriedo._

_ "It's going to be okay, Lovi, you'll see." Antonio promised, putting a hand on Lovino's back. "I'll protect you." He was smiling still even though he was at a funeral._

_ "I'm not sad!" Lovino said angrily, "You don't know anything!" Antonio chuckled at him. "I'm not! If anyone's sad its Feliciano whose sad."_

_ "It's okay to be sad at first, you just can't be sad all the time. Mrs. Romina wouldn't want that." He stretched his arms out welcoming the younger boy into a hug._

_ "I miss her." Lovino said into his chest. "Bring Mommy back." Antonio laid his head on top of Lovino's while he cried into his white shirt. "Please bring Mommy back."_

"Antonio," he said turning back around to face the distressed Spaniard who was no longer smiling. "Antonio, I just- I'm confused and I need some time. Away from you."

"Oh, okay," said Antonio his face crestfallen. "Well, if- if you ever need anyone, I'm always here."

"I know," Lovino said with half a smile, Antonio was always there for him, and call Lovino selfish but he relied on that, craved it. Antonio was sometimes the only one who Lovino thought really actually cared about him. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Antonio turned dejectedly away, back to his house. Lovino sighed, why did he always hurt those he cared about? Why couldn't he find that happy medium?

"Antonio, I- I'm sorry." Lovino shouted, but Antonio didn't even acknowledge that he'd spoken. Fine, he didn't give a shit either. Letting out an angry huff, Lovino turned back around and continued walking in the other direction. He had apologized; didn't Antonio know how difficult it was for him to say he was sorry?

He continued walking not sure of where his feet were taking him till he was standing in front of the Church he had attended since he was a baby with his father and mother until she died, it was Catholic obviously, he was of Italian decent after all. He walked in, God was obviously trying to tell him something. "Hello Lovino," said Father Remus, an elderly Italian man who looked younger than his age with his slightly grayed brown hair. He'd worked once with the Holy Father before he had come to Canada to do the Lord's work here.

"Can I talk to you, Father?" Lovino asked watching the man light the candles on the alter. Father Remus was like a grandfather to him and Feliciano, and most of the times he found it easier to talk to the holy man then his own father.

"Certainly, what troubles you?" Remus asked sitting down on one of the front pews beside Lovino. The sanctuary hadn't changed much since his mother's funeral and the green and purple glass created sanctified shapes on the floor.

"Does God hate gays?" Lovino's voice remained even despite talking about a seemingly taboo topic in the Catholic Church.

"No, is this about your friends or your father?"

"Both."

"No, I don't believe God is capable of hating anyone. Not even Satan himself. Do I believe we are to treat gay people and differently as heterosexual people as your father does? No, and I'm sure that is shocking coming from a Catholic Priest." Remus smiled at Lovino. "You are very wise, Lovino, and very mature. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I wish you preached mass, Father."

"The Lord does not will me to."

"Thank you, Father." Lovino said standing up.

"I hope I have brought some peace to your troubles."

"Yes, thank you." Lovino said, "Will I see you tomorrow at mass?"

"No, I will be doing Confession."

"Oh, well maybe afterward then." Lovino said shrugging and turned to walk out of the church. Lovino didn't normally attend Confession like he should, he wasn't fond of the idea of spilling his secrets to anyone but God himself.

"Purhaps."

The walk home didn't seem as aimless as his walk to the church. He thought about Antonio and Matthew, both had come out of the closet that they were gay and Gilbert, who was all but come out with his shameless flirting with Matthew. The blond Canadian had told Lovino that he was in love with Gilbert, but he was terrified to the albino in case he didn't feel the same way. They were hanging out today, and Lovino had been tempted to ask Feliciano to go to Ludwig's house to spy on them to make sure the older boy didn't break his best friend's heart, but he really didn't want his little brother hanging out with the German boy.

"_Fratello_." Feliciano said running outside the house to greet his older brother. The auburn haired boy wore no shoes and Lovino knew that his feet must have been cold touching the freezing concrete underneath them. "Where'd you go?"

"To see Father Remus, I had some questions for him." Lovino gazed up to the top right window of the house to the left of his own where he could see the profile of Antonio gazing down at the brothers. The curtain moved and Antonio disappeared. Lovino sighed, now the one person he had always depended on was mad at him, and he still wasn't sure how to fix the issue. Antonio had never been mad at him before.

"What kind?"

"The religious types," Lovino said with a shrug, walking in doors. "Why all the questions?"

"Dad was worried." Feliciano said almost skipping along beside him. "You've been gone for a couple of hours."

"Dad was worried? Dad hardly gives a fuck about you and me. Just another way of getting taxes deducted." He didn't care if his father heard him or not.

"_Fratello_, don't say that."

"You just don't see it cause he dotes on you." Feliciano frowned and water began to form around his eyes.

"_Mi dispace_!" he cried hugging his brother and leaving tear marks all over his sweatshirt.

"Get off of me!"

Lovino sighed as he listened to the priest, he never could remember what his name was, talk on and on about some particular topic that Lovino didn't care to pay attention to. Two rows diagnolly right of him sat Antonio in between his parents; Francis was sitting right beside Mrs. Carriedo. Antonio was fidgeting while he sat, he never could sit still too long without getting ansty, Lovino thought with a small smile.

He longed to go sit beside him and talk about the issues that had sprung up between the two of them the dreams, the homophobic father, high school, hormones. To run his hands through those curly locks and feel how his lips felt pressed against his, and to run his hands down- whoa- he was at church, he couldn't think those kinds of things. But he wanted to and that scared Lovino most of all.

"You okay Lovi, you look upset." Feliciano whispered quietly so that Octavious wouldn't hear them.

"Yes," Lovino said quickly, damn that Tomato Bastard making him this flustered.

"Okay," Feliciano didn't seem convinced.

Confession always took place in a side room away from the sanctuary, and the priest, Remus this time, would always talk to you through a box so that they couldn't know who they were talking to. Lovino was sure that they recognized people by their voices though, maybe even better than their faces.

"Father," Lovino said calmly, he already knew what he was going to confess.

"Speak my child." Father Remus said,

"Father, I-I think I love a man."

_Every whisper,  
>Of every waking hour<br>I am choosing my confessions  
>Trying to keep an eye on you<br>Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool,  
>Oh no, I've said too much<br>I've set it up_

_Consider this,  
>Consider this, the hint of the century,<br>Consider this, the slip  
>That brought me to my knees, failed<br>What if all these fanstasies come  
>Flailing down,<br>Now I've said, too much_

_I thought that I heard you laughing,  
>I thought that I heard you sing,<br>I think I thought I saw you try,_

_But that was just a dream,  
>That was just a dream,<em>

_That's me in the corner  
>That's me in the spotlight<br>Losing my religion  
>Trying to keep a view<br>And I don't know if I can do it  
>Oh no I've said too much<br>I haven't said enough_

**Author's Note (the part of the story where the author comes out and writes a silly note): Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! I've actually had this chapter written on notebook paper for quite a while, I just had to write chapter two…. Yeah sometimes I write like that. Hahaha. So yeah…. Hm I have nothing more to say, that's weird. Oh well. **


	4. Objection Tango

Objection Tango

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the Objection Tango.**

The next week after his and Lovino's discussion, Antonio hardly left his room; only to go to school. He refused to teach his dance classes, asking his parents to teach them because he felt ill. At school he avoided Lovino like the plague and would hide in the library during lunch if he needed to, much to the annoyance of Gilbert and Francis. It was his mother, Josephine Fernandez Carriedo, who finally put her foot down and said enough with Antonio's moping. Antonio and Josephine happened to be a lot alike, the same cheerful personality, same peridot green eyes, and so Josephine always knew when there was something wrong with her only son, much to his displeasure, despite his many protests that there wasn't. "_Mami_, I'm fine." Antonio said to her when she questioned him.

"No you're not. Tell me." Antonio sighed, his gaze shifting from the hardwood floors in his bedroom to the blinds covering his window, and the view to a certain Italian's house. "Did something happen between you and Lovino?" Antonio sighed again; his mother was observant and didn't miss much.

"_Si_, we got into a fight last Saturday, well sort of. It was more Lovino telling me he didn't want to hang around me anymore."

"Because you're gay?" Josephine never had a problem with her son's sexuality, much to Antonio's gratefulness, of course now she liked to talk to him about hot actors and dancers, and that could lead to interesting discussions sometimes. His father, Michal Carriedo, just went with it and had jokingly blamed Antonio's sexuality on the family's passion for dancing. Antonio was well aware he was lucky to have such understanding Catholic parents, something he also knew Lovino and Feliciano were not so lucky to have.

Antonio shook his head. He was quit for a couple of seconds, collecting his thought, before speaking. "I overheard a conversation between Lovino and Matthew, Lovino's best friend, they- well Lovino actually was talking about a dream he'd had about me. A certain kind of dream."

"Ah, I see and Lovino is confused about his sexuality and his father." Josephine said putting a hand on her son's shoulder. Antonio nodded and put his head in his hands.

"He doesn't want to be around me now cause I make him confused."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"No, I've been avoiding him since last Saturday."

"Maybe you should talk to him." Antonio shrugged, "Well, you still have a dance class to teach. You missed it last week, but your father and I aren't going to cover you anymore, at least not because of one of your students. You'll have to face him sooner or later anyway." He nodded, expecting as much. He couldn't shirk off his duties just to avoid one of his students.

"_Gracias, Mami_." He said looking into her green eyes.

"_De nada, mi hijito_." Josephine leaned over pecking her son's forehead.

Antonio put the small radio in front of the studio, before looking up at the class. It had gotten bigger since he'd last been here by two students, two more teenage girls. "Sorry I wasn't here last week." He said with his biggest smile. "I was sick. But according to Mrs. Carriedo, you guys worked on waltzes again. So pair up, I want to see how much you've improved." He leaned down to press the play button on the CD player to start the Viennese Waltz. "One, two, three, one two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, and a one, two, three, one, two, three," he clapped his hands to the beat as he repeated the same three numbers.

As he watched the partners, he noted that the old couple from the first class looked as if they knew what they were doing. Maybe they wanted to learn new dances. To his surprise both Feliciano and Lovino looked extremely graceful as they danced together. Lovino was still scowling, not that it surprised Antonio much, fifty percent of the time Lovino was scowling for some reason or another, but he caught Antonio's eyes much to the Spaniard's surprise. Feliciano leaned over and whispered something into Lovino's ear that made his older brother splutter and turn bright red. Antonio chuckled and watched some of the other dancers.

After a while he clapped two precise hand claps to catch the dancers attention. "Okay, now we're going to learn one of my personal favorites, the tango." He said,

"Why's it one of your favorites?" One of the teenage girls asked, Emily might have been her name.

"Because he's from Spain, silly." Said one of her friends,

"No, my mother was a tango dancer back in Spain; it's how she and my father met. Their rivals were each other dance partners and they often competed against one another. Till they got married at least, my mother stopped being a professional dancer once they had me." He said smiling, "Now this'll be a two week teaching process." He motioned for the blond woman standing in the back of the room nonchalantly to come forward. Her name was Femeke and she was an old friend of his who'd once worked in his parent's studio. She'd left Canada three years ago to attend a ballet school in Paris to be closer to her grandparents who lived in Arnhem. "This is Femeke, she's a former instructor here and she is going to help me demonstrate the tango for you guys."

"Is that your neighbor Lovi?" she whispered into his ear, Antonio nodded and she giggled. "He's so handsome."

"Femeke, this is not the time." Antonio chastised, but Femeke only giggled some more and rolled her eyes at the dance instructor. She placed her left hand n Antonio's right, her right hand going onto his shoulder blade while his left rested on her hip.

"He looks jealous. Are you two dating yet?" she whispered,

"I make him confused." Antonio whispered back, silently hoping that the class wasn't hearing his and Femeke's discussion. Right now she reminded him a lot of a girl who lived down the street Elizaveth Hedervary, the president and founder of the Yaoi Fan Girl Club at the school.

"Oh," And Femeke winked at Lovino who only scowled at her.

"The tango is a dance of passion, it's a chase. Where the waltz is elegant, the tango is risqué. A pulls B towards them." For demonstration he pulled Femeke slightly closer to him. "B on the other hand will pull away slightly." Femeke pulled away from him so that they were back to their original starting distance. "This must happen simultaneously." He pulled her close while she pushed away from him. "You must have communication with your partner in order for this to happen. As such." He leaned down to press the play on the CD player before beginning to dance with his blond friend.

"Wow, they look so cute together." Emily gushed as he and Femeke danced together.

"Antonio is gay though." One of her friends said,

"Oh," Emily said sounding disappointed,

"Lars would be jealous." Femeke whispered half smiling to herself. Antonio rolled his eyes. The spikey haired blond cousin of his was annoying, always whining about things whenever they went to visit them in the Netherlands.

"Maybe we should dance more often then?" Antonio said smirking, oh how he'd love to show Lars up at dancing.

"And what would poor Lovino say?" Femke teased, Antonio growled slightly and Femeke giggled in response. "Well you should probably go back to teaching. You've demonstrated enough." The couple stopped and Antonio looked back to his students.

"Alright, partner up again. You're going to work on the push and pull." Antonio said while clapping his hands in reminiscent of his mother who used to do the same thing when she was teaching him how to dance.

* * *

><p>Antonio was packing up his stuff after class when his heart broke again. Lovino came up behind him looking slightly awkward as he did so. "Hola Lovi," Antonio said cheerfully his heart soaring, had Lovino decided that they could talk again?<p>

"Hey," Lovino said with a small smile. "I'm sorry," the words were almost inaudible to Antonio even though he stood barely twenty centimeters from the boy.

"Does this mean that you are no longer confused about your sexuality?" Antonio asked cautiously the last part popping out when he didn't meant for it to. Lovino didn't know he had overheard that conversation and he was positive that the Italian wouldn't take Antonio's eavesdropping lightly.

"How the hell did you know that?" Lovino snapped, Antonio could feel the younger boy's invisible shields go up. Antonio always had prided himself before for being one of the few people that Lovino would let in when the shields were up, but now he was afraid that even he wouldn't be let in anymore, especially not this time.

"I overheard you talking to Matthew." Well this was the time for honesty after all. Antonio watched as Lovino's face twisted into one of horror.

"The whole conversation? Have you told anyone."

"_Si,_" Antonio said nodding his head, "Only _Mami_, I swear Lovino, no one else knows. I just had to tell someone how I felt."

"How could you?" It almost came out as whine. "I trusted you!"

"I didn't mean to." Antonio protested, "Lovino, I know I should have told you before but I didn't want to make you even more embarrassed. And then when you told me you didn't want to hang out with me, I knew the reason why, I just was hurt that you wouldn't talk to me about it. I want to help you, I went through the same thing."

"Help me? I don't want your help. What does it matter to you if I'm straight or gay?"

"Well tell me what you chose. I'm tired of this guessing game." Antonio said, anger flared up in him that he wasn't sure where it had come from.

"Why should I have to tell you anything, bastard!" Lovino yelled making quite a few of the heads of the other students turn.

"You haven't decided have you? I'm not going to have you lead me around on a string anymore. Make up your mind, be gay or straight. And when you do make up your mind don't forget to tell me." Antonio said picking up the cd player and walking away from the wall of mirrors and the stunned Italian.

He locked himself in his parents' office and began to cry. His whole body shook whenever his sobs would come out. He hadn't meant to snap at Lovino like that. He knew how delicate the younger Italian boy was, how few people he let see the true Lovino and he had probably just blown whatever chances he ever had at telling him how he truly felt for him.

But then again he was also tired of being lead like a dog on a leash by Lovino on how the boy felt for him. It wasn't fair to himself or his feelings. If Lovino wasn't gay or even if he was and he didn't share the same feelings Antonio wanted to know so that he could move on. But you haven't told him your feelings yet, a nagging voice in his head told him. No he hadn't, but he very much doubted that he'd ever get the chance now. He wished with all his heart that Gilbert and Francis were here so that he could tell them all of his woes of the heart. Francis at least would have good advice, and maybe Gilbert he seemed to be doing pretty well with Matthew, though Antonio wasn't sure if he had feelings for the quiet boy or if it was the fear of Francis's threat that kept him from breaking it off with the blond.

"Antonio, are you okay?" he heard his mother ask from outside to door.

"No," he responded, his hand unconsciously unlocking the door to let her in. She was the best confident he had. She always listened and always had some kind of advice to give him.

"Come here _mi hijito_." She said holding her arms out and Antonio felt himself entering her embrace. It was comforting to know that no matter what he would always have someone he could lean on. "_Todo estara` bien_." She said to him and he believed her.

_Objection I don't wanna be the exception  
>To get a bit of your attention<br>I love you for free and I'm not your mother  
>But you don't even bother.<em>

_Objection I'm tired of this triangle  
>Got dizzy dancing tango<br>I'm falling apart in your hands again  
>No way, I've got to get away.<em>

**Author's Note (The part of the story where the author comes out and writes a silly note): Wow thank God the holidays are over. December is the worst time for writing with the end of semester exams and everyone coming over and Christmas parties and annoying relatives and you finally realized why your mother hated visiting your father's side of the family and the game I have been waiting for, for two years finally game out. Old Republic rocks by the way (I am a huge Star Wars fan) so I might have had this posted sooner if it wasn't for that. I don't actually know how to tango, I looked up how to do it online so if I'm horribly wrong please tell me and I'll fix it. Hahahaha. Review please questions, comments, concerns, just remember that all flames are sacrificed to my best friend's llama gods. Gracias.**

**Translations:**

_**Mami-**_** an affectionate name for your mother like Mommy or Mom according to my best friend**

_**mi hijito-**_** an affectionate for a son I'm not sure of the exact translations, again this is according to my best friend**

_**De nada**_**- your welcome**

_**Todo estara` bien**_**- everything will be okay; I know the accent mark is going the wrong way I couldn't make it turn like I wanted it to.**


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note

I want to sincerely apologize for my leave of absence as an author, I will be back to posting more chapters later this month. I have had a few health issues in the past month and a good friend of mine's mother just recently passed away from lung cancer.

Here's a short snippet for those of you reading Spanish Carnation next chapter _Rumor has it_, **note it is subjected to change**:

"Look, here's the plan," Gilbert said his elbows on the table, finger tips pointed at each other making a triangle with his body and arms. His red eyes glanced between the unamused purple and confused green. "Rodriech, Antonio, you two are going to pretend to date each other." He felt pleased with himself for concocting this awesome plan.

"What?" Rodriech asked, his palms slapped the table in outrage. "I am not gay and I refuse to have my name slandered as such."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay." Gilbert rebuttaled, "Do you want Liz to continue to think that you have the emotional capabilities of a fly?" Something hard connected with his forehead dazing him for a split second if only because he had been surprised. The unawsome, wimpy pianist had hit him, him the aswome Gilbert Beilschmidt! He didn't think twice about his fist connecting with Rodriech's nose.

"Gilbert! Rodriech!" Antonio shouted, but Gilbert couldn't focus on his Spanish friend or the crowd gathering to watch the show. He dodged Rodriech's next punch aimed at his jaw and elbowed the pianist's shoulder while his other fist hit, pinky side first, Rodriech's temple.

Suddenly strong arms wrapped themselves around his chest and pulled him away from his unawsome opponent just as someone else pulled the brunette away from him. "Stop _mon ami_." And Gilbert felt himself relax in his friend's arms, the bloodlust fading away and he could now see that it had been Elizaveth who had pulled Rodriech away.

"Gilbert, are you all right?" Matthew asked running up.

"Yeah, yeah," Gilbert waved his hand dismissively to his kinda sorta, haven't quite figured out yet if we're dating or not friend, it wasn't like fighting was anything new for him, he had quite the track records with fight in the office.

"_Bruder_," Ludwig said, his normally stoic face was filled with concern. "_Was warst du denken_?"

"I lost control." Gilbert said with a shrug.

Sorry to those of you just reading Russian Sunflower, that chapter will be out after the one for Spanish Carnation.


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